My husband wants me to write a blog post about Bro-Country. Otherwise known as baby-making party music. Hubby recently discovered Luke Bryan. And he likes him. My husband, Lord love him and bless his heart, is a certified city boy. Remind me to tell you about the time I took him home for the first time and he had to go dispose of five stray dogs that my little bitty grandma had picked off with a .22.
And he came back! It’s because I am so precious and beautiful, I promise. (Really, I don’t know, he was probably afraid my grandma would come find him?)
Anyway, other than some bad decisions in high school that involved Wranglers and a rebel flag in his truck, he’s more Ice, Ice Baby and weird European dance music than anthems about trucks, dogs, breaking up, and drinking. [Please note, I love these anthems, I was raised on King George’s cassette tapes in my Daddy’s truck].
But… He digs these new spinnings on country music. You know, the ones that basically talk about “doing it” in a less than subtle way. I think because they’re poppy, dance-inducing, and well, kind of hot. Conway Twitty was hot because he was clever. Old Lukie Boy is hot because he shakes his butt in tight jeans. There’s a place for everyone.
A note to Luke Bryan’s wife: I’m sorry. I know you probably laugh when your husband’s on stage. The same way I laugh when mine puts on his tight jeans and shakes his tailfeathers too. #callme #husbandintervention #youreadad!
So anyway, husband came home, after having Strip It Down on repeat on his drive (subtle much?), and announced that I should write about this thing: “What did you call it? Bromance Country?”
I didn’t disagree with him (like I normally do right off the bat), but asked why. His response: “Isn’t that pretty much what you write about?”
I got real offended, of course. No, my books are Miranda Lambert/Carrie Underwood/Reba McEntire music videos in novel format, thankyouverymuch.
But…he’s not all that wrong. There are some “bro” elements in Brooks. And there are likely some parties in fields. Lilly wouldn’t be that girl, of course, but Tally would definitely show up.
So I started some research. And by research I mean I listened to/stalked/watched YouTube for so-called Bromance Country artists Luke Bryan, Sam Hunt, Jason Aldean, Florida/Georgia Line.
Here’s the deal: I’ll remain true to my dying day to The Bellamy Bros and Brooks and Dunn.
But… The dudes have something going on so I’m not gonna knock the way they make their money. I mean, I write books about people that love Jesus and cuss a little. And for the most part, they’re hot, y’all.
Here are my questions, though, after a somewhat thorough perusal of their catalogs:
- Why does Jason Aldean have a hole in his shirt? He can’t afford a new tshirt? Even the most redneck of rednecks wouldn’t wear a ratty shirt to a date…
- Why/how is Luke Bryan drinking moonshine/anything out of Dixie Cup? First, moonshine would eat right through a Dixie Cup. #tested. Second, a Dixie Cup is for rinsing the toothpaste out of your mouth when you brush your teeth. Dixie Cups are tiny! Are they taking shots? I get the “jar full of clear” but Dixie Cups in a field on the back of a truck? Did someone raid their grandma’s bathroom?
- Why is Luke Bryan doing it on white cotton sheets? This is sexy? No. Really high-thread count Egyptian cotton is sexy. Wal-Mart sheets aren’t. There’s nothing wrong with Wal-Mart sheets, but why pretend that that will be fun? And we all know he can afford at least Restoration Hardware. Come on.
- Sam Hunt is my new favorite. Yeah, he raps, but (bear with me) it’s a little Conway. He has clever twists on words (Ex To See, Take Your Time). But what does it mean to “take your time”? I don’t really get it. I’m not gonna commit and meet your momma, but we’re just gonna hang out here at this bar? #manupdude #makeamove
- Why are the FL/GA Line guys nekkid? Why no shirts? Are they going for a shirtless cowboy thing? Cowboys wear shirts! Hay is itchy! So are leather vests, I would think…
These are legit questions, people. If anyone knows the answers (other than #sexsells), let me know.
You got thoughts on “Bromance Country”? Let me hear them.